User talk:Inflicted Fear
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Playful Steve page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! WhyAmIReadingThis (talk) 03:47, February 25, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:49, February 25, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story The story was deleted because it was well-below quality standards. There are multiple capitalization, punctuation, run-on sentences, wording, and story issues here. This is not a complete list of everything as you also tend to misspell things and have minor punctuation errors when it comes to using apostrophes to denote possession or conjunctive words. Capitalization issues: Sentences not properly capitalized. "that(.)” he (He) suddenly began", "running” he (He) step back.", etc. You should only leave a sentence uncapitalized if it is connected to the dialogue (she said, she asked, etc) If it is a completely new sentence of proper noun, it should be capitalized. "“You prick!” Said (said) Jack", "you can all leave” Answered (answered) the teen", "can’t we just let this problem pass?” Said (said) Steve", etc. Wording issues: There are numerous run-on sentences. "I couldn’t believe what was happening to me right now, I never thought this could happened, he was just standing there I could see only his silhouette and the shinning of his knife swinging in his hands back and forward, I could not react in this time, fear conquered me at that moment, after a long time of silence he spoke to me." "On the next morning there was news of the murder of four teenagers Janice recognized one of them, he killed his bigger brother and now he was dead with a great scar that looks like a smile in his face, she walked out of the house and found a note on the door she read it and she entered in shock after what she had just read.", etc. Awkward wording: "he mentioned me while leaving his knife in the front pocket of his hoddie. (hoodie)", "yet I knew that I wasn’t a sleep (asleep) at all. The only thing I could do was reply him.", "he step back a little giving me space to run yet fear hold me against my bed.", "he returned the sight to me surprised that I didn’t move an inch from where I was.", "I only stared at him tears began to come outof me and eventually I let out a big scream, my only hope to call the attention of my parents, but he putted his hand over my mouth shutting me up.", etc. If English isn't your first language, I would strongly suggest using the writer's workshop or getting someone who is fluent in English to help you proof-read. Punctuation issues: Punctuation missing from dialogue. "“Hello friend, sorry if I gave you a big fright(comma missing) hahaha, I didn’t wanted to do that(.)”", "I just wanna ask you a simple question(.)”, "I’ll be fair and give you 3 seconds(,) start running”", etc. Commas missing/improperly used. "“Do you wanna play a game? , it’s (It's) easy(,) just run before I get you,", "ready or not(,) it’s time to die! Hahahaha”", "“Steve(,) wake up already you are going to miss your first day at middle school”", etc. Story issues: The story is an incredibly generic OC/CPC story. Teen is bullied, snaps, murders people, drops catchphrase multiple times. (“Do you wanna play a game?") The catchphrase also feels really shoe-horned into the story and out-of-place. I would suggest looking over the list of cliches as a lot of them are present in your story. Here is another guide that will point out the issues in your story. This feels more like an origin story for your OC rather than an actual creepypasta. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:29, February 25, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:58, February 26, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:05, February 26, 2016 (UTC)